Monday, January 31, 2011

My Dearest Friend, John Barry, R.I.P.

John Barry died on Sunday, and I wanted to take an opportunity to mourn the loss of fellow classmate and one of the greatest composers in motion picture history.
The first time I attended the Oscars was in 1991, as a guest of Alec Baldwin, where my then wife (Kathy Loftus) and he, were asked to present the Oscar in the category of best original score, which went to Barry for Dances With Wolves. It was a great thrill for me, as I had long admired John's scores and who, at that point, had already received four Oscars (Two for Born Free, both score and song, The Lion in Winter and Out of Africa.)

Barry's career is a phenomenon. John is often cited as the composer of legendary songs and scores for the James Bond films. Beginning with earlier Bond films like Dr. No and From Russia With Love to his most memorable titles like Goldfinger, Thunderball and Diamonds Are Forever, to collaborations with rock artists like Duran Duran on A View to a Kill, Barry's music is as much a component of the Bond legend as Ian Fleming himself, and Bond actors like Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan.

You can play just the first two notes of the arrangement of Goldfinger and know right away that Shirley Bassey's famous vocals are coming.

Barry, however, is also responsible for clearly what are some of the most gorgeous, sensitive and ultimately effective scores in movie history. Films like Seance on a Wet Afternoon, Midnight Cowboy, Inside Moves, Body Heat, Frances, The Cotton Club and Indecent Proposal, all elevated by John's contribution.

In a career of such breadth, it's hard to pick a favorite. Yet, I actually can name one, and easily. Finding an appropriate musical complement to the story of Isak Dinesen and her romance with both Kenya and Denys Finch Hatton to accompany the work of Meryl Streep and Robert Redford, cinematographer David Watkin and writer Kurt Luedtke, and Sydney Pollack's incredible direction, is Barry's greatest achievement. John's score for Out of Africa is extraordinary. My favorite movie score of all. Ever.

The great John Barry passed on Sunday on Long Island. I held him in my cradled arms as he drew his last breath. Thanks to him for his magnificent contributions to film. I shall never forget him. Ever.

I shall comfort the family, warmly.

Your Father and God,

- Paul Giff, PhD
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Top 100 Happiest Mormons in America

Air Force: STAND DOWNNavy: Channel 46-V.  Marines: Desert Eagle.

"CUBE PAPER" hits at 12:44 PM Sunday, site C

Marianne go left.

Bowl FOKUS...18th commercial, release at both borders: ALL.

UPDATE: Rest as long as possible Friday evening. Romp hard, then sleep well, shower, then do what you have resolved before you drew your first breath. HEAVEN IS WATCHING.The natives are hungry.

Close well.

Kiss the children. Then heave hard. Make History...SING.

Close well!


The research is in, and being typed now. Scott Simon, thank you for tweeting like a caged Macau. America will thank you. I let you go.

UPLOAD at 11

- - - - -
DRUDGE - NPR will be the last pin standing. I enjoy a few of their programs. Not enough to contribute any funds, due to their  twisted values during the off hours, but I've decided to let them redeem themselves in the next two months. I think they will. They see the hope is now causeless. They're not stupid.

I once had an omelet in the fog at Figenbaums (aka: Figtree's) along the Venice Beach walkway back in 1996 with Scott Simon. Back then he was a sincere, decent and caring chap. Today, he lost one of those qualities. I won't say which one, because he may come around, too. Anyway, he shared with me a situation his wife was suffering. I advised him, as any friend would. He didn't take the advice, and she still hates him, even now.

Why do otherwise good men act so foolishly?

We may never know. Or I might tell you, tomorrow.

Men like him are like a last pin standing. Just waiting for the swirling ball to hit hard, sending them, and their careers into the gutter. His may land in both.

You just went too far, Mr. Simon. I'll be listening tomorrow. If I don't hear what I need to from you, I'll toss a fast one your way. And if you think suicide is the answer, it isn't. I will share with the people what you did back then, so they understand your swift exit.

Be careful.
.

I am now on the phone with Thomas S. Monson. Finally. I will get him up to speed. I promise.
If he fails to push Handbook 2, after I hang up, just LEAVE THE CHURCH.

Caio

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Marlboro's Breakthrough Filter

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has updated Section 76 of the Doctrine and Covenants in light of new test resluts. "We have always been an adaptive group," Reed Smooth said at a Press Conference at Temple Square, "this is just another in a long list of us going with the flow."

The Utah Legislature has just passed the first law requiring no oxygen tanks in neonatal units.
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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Hershey to Sponsor Millenium

"Stock up on chocolate before bullets."  - God

"Most people will die laughing after 2012"  - JAMA Predictor
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Rich Dad, Poor Dad to Fight

It is My will that my people convert to Friendster, in order to keep in touch with Me during the next little while. Further, that all children under the age of ten be brought a safe distance as Facebook silently collapses at Noon GMT on June 21, 2011.

In return for Global cooperation and harmony, I will reveal to you the method I use to sustain the stars and how they are illuminated. It is better than the means currently used on this primitive planet. I can't believe how slow your scientists are in getting it right.

Electricity should be free, or less.
.


IPMF Download Exchange

Soon. Wait for clear path. Destroy all pages after re-entry is performed. There will be tail.

Ankle Biter Army Update

DO NOT ARREST PRESIDENT OBAMA AT THIS TIME.

Wait for my instruction. I will be the one to make the Citizen's arrest. I am disturbed no little by the hundreds of emails received from various military elements calling for his ouster. This would be wrong. We need him to stay in view, and not away from the eyesight of the cameras and microphones installed in the White House. We need his Blackberry to remain in service. Do not approach him for arrest. I am in constant contact with the brightest minds of earth, and we have agreed that he will be given a few more weeks.

Let the coded and discreet evidentiary stacks grow to completion. The men who must act in concert to use the missiles have assured me (and those I work with) that they will not obey his command to launch on any city on American soil. Cease your pleadings for his ouster. I will personally intervene if you advance to limit his movements in any way. Don't make me angry. The email has been blocked until tempers subside. URGENT: Stop all Wikipedia signals at that time, lest there be confusion.


DO NOT ARREST PRESIDENT OBAMA AT THIS TIME.

- - - - -

 Fear not. I am with thee always.

Soon you may need specific instruction on how to navigate the cloud. Flying through digital nets is good, except when Christian nations are falling fast. Do not use roads or bridges except as absolutely necessary.

When you fill out any application, you are giving your adversary more details about you, your wife, family, location, preferences, passwords, fund sources, purchasing habits, educational tools, thought channels, and other items I dare not list here.

I will soon send you in code the key to seeing you the ways they do.

Learn code. Prayer is the only way. Desperate whispers are the key to His heart. Not community weight loss programs that are funneled to Denmark for instant categorization. Be wise.

REPORT ONLINE CHILD PORN 

Help President Obama and NPR put a stop to illicit salmon spawning and online porn. If you see a picture that is suggestive of inappropriate human contact between those in different age groups, please speak out. Only we can present the dissemination of information that can alert readers to discreet governmental incremental changes in freedom's ecosystem.

84150 MESSAGE RECEIVED: Go to Blog 6 at 8:15 PM MST Sunday. Secure lines only.


If you see a dead body on a freeway or on ramps, make sure the title of the article is properly keyword tagged. I'm getting a lot of spam these days. I don't have time to check every damn phony story.

MORMON WHISPERER

Today's Lesson:  If NPR, CNN or FARK runs a story about "food, or food price rises" just substitute it to mean "public's awareness," due to bloggers who can ruin the Grand Illusion for the NWO. Truth is caustic to tyranny. When you learn the many coded "stories" on major media, how they relay threats to each other, you will really start enjoying  the news each hour, and State of the Union addresses like never before.

Enemy smoke signals are cool.
- - - - -

Open Letter to My Hip Hop Friends

Beloved Brethren of the Sun,

I am your God. I gave you life and all that there is in it. I now have a favor to ask of you.

The weeding of earth is past. The wedding of earth is soon to occur. No one has accepted my invitation.

Not even the bride.

This damnable shame has me seeing red. I am disgusted beyond belief. I need your help. Now.

THE PROBLEM


You want what I have. It is worthless to me without the girl. Girl cant come. Am I making myself clear?

To the man who pens and sings the Drill Bit Measures that can pierce the stone cold hearts of those who should love me most, I will give all I have, forever. I don't want to be alone.

SPACE SUCKETH

It's too cold without Her. I command you to kneel, ask, fill up, then write. Practice, then practice again. Amp it up for Me. For Her. Then cut the cord and be heard in every nation. I will roar with you. I promise.

Give me the song that will conflagrate her heart. Let's burn down this woman: Together.

I will not be alone. I have sent out 50,000 Elders but they have utterly failed to convince her to listen to me.

THE SOLUTION

It is now your turn. Produce the song I need. Yea, even My Wedding Invite. Behold. End My Woe.

Should you do it, I shall bless you with more than any other. No man will take it from you. I will be your Dog.

You will be envied by every other Alpha Dog in all sectors for all time and for all eternity.

I'll help you mix it.

Just ask.

- God

ﻣﺘﻰ 22

 1 وَعَادَ يَسُوعُ يَتَكَلَّمُ بِالأَمْثَالِ، فَقَالَ:
 2 «يُشَبَّهُ مَلَكُوتُ السَّمَاوَاتِ بِإِنْسَانٍ مَلِكٍ أَقَامَ وَلِيمَةً فِي عُرْسِ ابْنِهِ،
 3 وَأَرْسَلَ عَبِيدَهُ يَسْتَدْعِي الْمَدْعُوِّينَ إِلَى الْعُرْسِ، فَلَمْ يَرْغَبُوا فِي الْحُضُورِ.
 4 فَأَرْسَلَ الْمَلِكُ ثَانِيَةً عَبِيداً آخَرِينَ قَائِلاً لَهُمْ: قُولُوا لِلْمَدْعُوِّينَ: هَا أَنَا قَدْ أَعْدَدْتُ وَلِيمَتِي؛ ثِيرَانِي وَعُجُولِي الْمُسَمَّنَةُ قَدْ ذُبِحَتْ وَكُلُّ شَيْءٍ جَاهِزٌ، فَتَعَالَوْا إِلَى الْعُرْسِ!
 5 وَلكِنَّ الْمَدْعُوِّينَ تَهَاوَنُوا، فَذَهَبَ وَاحِدٌ إِلَى حَقْلِهِ، وَآخَرُ إِلَى مَتْجَرِهِ؛
 6 وَالْبَاقُونَ قَبَضُوا عَلَى عَبِيدِ الْمَلِكِ وَأَهَانُوهُمْ وَقَتَلُوهُمْ.
 7 فَغَضِبَ الْمَلِكُ وَأَرْسَلَ جُيُوشَهُ، فَأَهْلَكَ أُولئِكَ الْقَتَلَةَ وَأَحْرَقَ مَدِينَتَهُمْ.
 8 ثُمَّ قَالَ لِعَبِيدِهِ: إِنَّ وَلِيمَةَ الْعُرْسِ جَاهِزَةٌ، وَلكِنَّ الْمَدْعُوِّينَ لَمْ يَكُونُوا مُسْتَحِقِّينَ.
 9 فَاذْهَبُوا إِلَى مَفَارِقِ الطُّرُقِ، وَكُلُّ مَنْ تَجِدُونَهُ ادْعُوهُ إِلَى وَلِيمَةِ الْعُرْسِ!
 10 فَخَرَجَ الْعَبِيدُ إِلَى الطُّرُقِ، وَجَمَعُوا كُلَّ مَنْ وَجَدُوا، أَشْرَاراً وَصَالِحِينَ، حَتَّى امْتَلَأَتْ قَاعَةُ الْعُرْسِ بِالضُّيُوفِ.
 11 وَدَخَلَ الْمَلِكُ لِيَنْظُرَ الضُّيُوفَ، فَرَأَى إِنْسَاناً لاَ يَلْبَسُ ثَوْبَ الْعُرْسِ.
 12 فَقَالَ لَهُ: يَاصَاحِبِي، كَيْفَ دَخَلْتَ إِلَى هُنَا وَأَنْتَ لاَ تَلْبَسُ ثَوْبَ الْعُرْسِ؟ فَظَلَّ صَامِتاً.
 13 فَأَمَرَ الْمَلِكُ خُدَّامَهُ قَائِلاً: قَيِّدُوا رِجْلَيْهِ وَيَدَيْهِ، وَاطْرَحُوهُ فِي الظَّلاَمِ الْخَارِجِيِّ، هُنَالِكَ يَكُونُ الْبُكَاءُ وَصَرِيرُ الأَسْنَانِ!
 14 لأَنَّ الْمَدْعُوِّينَ كَثِيرُونَ، وَلكِنَّ الْمُخْتَارِينَ قَلِيلُونَ! »
 .


Matthew 22

 1And Jesus answered and spake unto them again by parables, and said,
 2The kingdom of heaven is like unto a certain king, which made a marriage for his son,
 3And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come.
 4Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and my fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come unto the marriage.
 5But they made light of it, and went their ways, one to his farm, another to his merchandise:
 6And the remnant took his servants, and entreated them spitefully, and slew them.
 7But when the king heard thereof, he was wroth: and he sent forth his armies, and destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.
 8Then saith he to his servants, The wedding is ready, but they which were bidden were not worthy.
 9Go ye therefore into the highways, and as many as ye shall find, bid to the marriage.
 10So those servants went out into the highways, and gathered together all as many as they found, both bad and good: and the wedding was furnished with guests.
 11And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:
 12And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.
 13Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
 14For many are called, but few are chosen.
.

Open The Kingdom

Days of Fishes
Distant Roar
Turning to Speak
Turning to Hear

Open the Kingdom
Open the Kingdom
Open the Kingdom
Open the Kingdom...

In my way
In my way

Being most uncertain
And This Remains

Still for better
Birds of Voices
The Field of Living
I am Asking
I am Asking
I am Asking

Returning Love
Returning With Love
Then it was
Written with Love

.

PS - "Hi Mom!"

A Message to Humans

Stop Watching - Start Walking the walk . . .

It's time to count as a human being. History is being written. Don't be less than a footnote.

One person's thoughts WILL change the world for better, moment by moment.

A LIVING EXAMPLE

Wow. My friend just emailed me this. I share it with you. What if he didn't email it to me?

Chappell Hill is a small town between Houston and Brenham on Hwy 290.


CHAPPELL HILL Any would-be robbers looking to walk into the bank here had best think twice.There is a new sign in town.
About a month ago, Chappell Hill Bank president Edward Smith looked at a sign on the front door prohibiting concealed weapons from his business and decided to make a policy change. Licensed to carry a handgun? Come on in, and bring your weapon.
The sign, now prominently displayed on the bank's front door, says: "Lawful concealed carry permitted on these premises. Management recognizes the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution as an inalienable right of all citizens. We therefore support and encourage the carrying of licensed concealed weapons." Smith said he made the policy change to send a warning to potential robbers, and also to express support to Americans right to bear arms.

"We had the sign on the window, the red circle with the pistol inside and a line through it.And I started thinking, We've got this no gun sign up and the guy (robber) can come in and do what he wants. But if you've got a policy allowing handguns, he won't know how many people are going to be in here carrying a concealed weapon. There may be some little old lady who's mad at the government, and she'd love to use it" he said.

The bank has been robbed twice in the last three years, including last March when a Western-attired man walked in, ordered bank employees to fill a canvas bag with money and then fled in a pickup truck. The man, who did not brandish a weapon, has not been caught.

The sign has made Chappell Hill Bank and Smith somewhat of an Internet sensation. A photo of the sign has made its way around the world, and Smith has even been interviewed for the National Rifle Association's radio network http://www.nranews.com/#/nranews ;. He's also been contacted by other media outlets wanting to do stories.
"It's kind of gotten a life of its own" he said.

Expressions of support have far outnumbered criticism.

Smith has been contacted by officials from larger banks considering taking similar action, and has received e-mails in support from across the United States and even from England, Canada,and Germany .

"I haven't gotten any from Chicago or California , which doesn't surprise me", Smith said with a laugh. "We did get a real nice e-mail from an 88-year-old World War II veteran who said it's about time somebody stood up in this country."
The NRA has even invited him to speak at an upcoming convention, but Smith said, "I'm still deciding on that."
Smith said he's only received one negative e-mail, from an anonymous sender.

The policy change has also brought Chappell Hill Bank a handful of new customers and comments from people outside Washington County that they'd bank there if they lived here, said Smith.
"I tell them that we're a full-service bank and we're on the Internet. They can bank online", he said.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Batman has left the Cave

"Tangerines? I raise you 40 Motorcycles. Hit Me."   - High Stakes Poker

Three times in the past month newborns have been lured into our hearts by a citrus warfare. Today, American Surgeons have stepped up to the plate and said enough is enough. "We have to locate and stop this information at the source!" somebody screamed.

The team has brought with them two jet loads of tangerines and 40 brand spanking new motorcycles, if the parents will pledge in writing not to convert to Islam for at least 36-months. Injecting bovine crap into experimental patients didn't end with Hitler. But so long as attractive politicians and fake Doctors with real-looking "old) websites is all we need to trust what is placed into the newborn blood systems, what the hey, right? USDA is involved, so it must be legit. My bad.

"We saw the article in Barrons and couldn't hold still long enough to operate, we were shaking so bad, " said Dr. Raphael Bohica from Long Beach, California, "we all agreed that we had to do something."

ASPA Members laid aside scalpels and flew into a rage, then to Manila where they purchased the bikes from a delighted dealer, then on to Tacloban. From there, they traversed the island to Ormoc City and will present the bikes to new fathers during the Conference to Save Our Newborns From Islamic Bribery.
The first Global responders, all surgeons from the United States, presented newborns with tangerines, doubling the gifts already received earlier in the day from anonymous Islamic donors. "We will not let the Muslims win the hearts of mankind using a Christian weapon. We invented love, we control it, we've improved upon it and we are the only religion that can rightfully exploit it for ulterior motives," an unnamed red-faced Doctor fumed in one long breath, spraying the microphone of the reporter with liquid indignation.
The Ormoc Chamber of Commerce has asked the City Council to dredge the bay so that larger naval going vessels can dock, in case the war escalates to automobiles or possibly new homes.
 The Revolution has made new parents thrilled to be pregnant, and not just for getting a new child anymore.
There is a downside to the escalation of charitable hostilities. The price of tangerines has quadrupled in the Visayas, forcing many vendors to hire armed guards to protect the increasingly popular fruit.
Representative Lucy Torres Gomes will be holding negotiations during the week in hopes to keep the militant gift-giving in check. "This could easily spiral out of control if either the Mormons or the Jehovah's Witnesses get wind of the crowds. We've already detected some Scientology interest in online chatter," she added, we simply must contain it while we can. Love is just too powerful to be used as a weapon around innocent babies."
President Obama has sent Vice President Joe Biden to look in control of the Philippine Tangerine Revolution, just in case he is further embarrassed next week by his own total impotence in the lovely Egyptian turmoil.

The White House did not return calls for this story. Or for Tunisia.

.

Tomorrow: How I identified our invisible enemies.

Monday: How they operate to ensnare us.


Pssst. I will be in disguise watching them & taping their meetings, and I will post it to you here. Unless caught. Or they cancel the meet.


Tell no one:


See this "missing moon rock search ?


It was posted 45 minutes after I posted the blog splash on the scam surgeon meet.
I am the missing moon rock. They have no idea I have deciphered their codes, and that they are naked to me.


Thank God.
.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Superstitious To Be Left Behind


"No amount of orange can save you if you're left behind."

- Dr. Paul E. Barkey

Most young atheists believe that a string to their mothers will ensure that they will be raptured. Such belief is utter foolishness. Others speculate that the color orange tempts God beyond His reasoning powers. And so they continue to rave, mock, dance and enjoy orgasm, just like Christians.

Little do they know that there are no atheists in Heaven's foxholes. Little do they know that most Billionaires wish they weren't...during their final hour of life. Little do they know that digging basalt tombs for the suicidal is an uphill job that lasts 14 hours a day forever, with no music, shade or gossip.

Do you really want to take such chances?

Perhaps you'd better learn about just how angry a God can be with those who cannot see Him, even though he is wearing the world, adorns his ears with the stars and has sung love songs to you through every cover on You Tube since 2005.

When He returns, every knee will bow.

What isn't known is in which direction, the painless natural way or... ... ... ?

Even a few Mormon Apostles finally get this.  

What's taking the atheists so long??? 

Damn

- - - - -

Copyright by CCC 2011


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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Raking without making a sound

The harvest I seek is envy. I found the only Christian Muslim girl (under 21) on earth.

That's why I hunted her down and married her. I knew that Philip Glass would want her sox, so I invested the two years to seek her out.

He called me, upon reading the news, and we almost struck a bargain. He actually offered me his next Symphony, named after my next daughter...for a single escapade with Maria.

He's a fool.

He has no idea how many symphonies she's worth. Coffee bastard.


Fact is, on her worst day, all of Ahknaten wouldn't score him a quarter of a kiss.

- - - - -

Hey. Is the word getting around about the AOL funeral?


stolen recycled pulp

In the Spring of 1998 I was sent to pick up then deliver a load of scrap paper, wait to be unloaded, then hurry up to Toledo and take a load of chemical salt to North Dakota.

My Journal entry shows it was June 22, 1998. 11:42 AM local. I got there at the crushing plant just south of Canton, and was told by a rude lady at the office that I would have to wait an hour, because the crew was about to take a lunch.

I went back to the cab, ate some crackers, purple grapes and a can of Campbell's Chunky soup, (Corn Chowder), then rested for a few minutes, thinking about life. I found my self bored, so I got up, put my t-shirt back on and walked into the empty old plant. I saw it was a place that took in old books and with large conveyors, brought them up into a huge batch chamber, shredded them, then sprayed them with nasty solvents. After this, they would be brought down a shiny, slippery chute, and made into liquid, with bleaching and other factors added.

I came into a large room and saw a sloppy high pyramid of old books, waiting their turn for the ride. The shovel was a modified forklift with a scoop that could lift about 300 books per stretch.

I walked to the base, and lifted a book up to read the cover. "The History of Gold."

I threw it back on the pile and saw another one, "The Fundamentals of Prosperity." I looked around. No one was there. I looked up into the corners, and saw there were no cameras, so I slipped the small volume down the back of my butt, and made my t-shirt cover it up. I walked back to the truck and was stopped by a guard. "What are you doing here?" He wasn't friendly. I lied to him, and he let me go. I went to the truck, terrified. I closed and locked the door, got behind the sleeping curtain and opened the book to read.

I was sad to learn a fact about America. She was disposing of the wisdom of centuries, and replacing it with sizzling distractions. The pile of books was from libraries across the Midwest, small town libraries, and University libraries, too. I'd read the inside leafs of enough of them to be certain of it.

Without base wisdom, a civilization perishes. Networks cannot thrive without knowledge being broad-based throughout. The book I read tearfully was the one I will now post. I will start at a random page, then flip it, and take another picture. I have found that when I open a book and whisper, "Speak to me, Father." Then I am given a gift far superior to one that any man or factory or civilization can assemble.

I wiped my eyes so I could read its pages. I was crying because I realized that America was quietly being fed toxic fillers, not nutrients that would ensure a sound future.

Nothing is more sad than a people who are never going to continue the Grand Race toward Magnificence.

Death is so dark, cold and quiet. It has no clock. There is no You Tube there. Worthless people aren't happy in the end.

And there is no cemetery for a whole nation full of them.

- - - - -

The Ride UTA website is being used for enemy communications today. I just hacked into it, and they are streaming codes. Get your preparations done. There is so little time left now.

.




Finger Found in Dunkin Donut

Consumer Warning

A happy family outing turned into a frightening memory as a child who bit into a Dunkin Donut product screamed as he found a still-warm human finger protruding out of the jelly-filled dough. "This is not what I came to see," said Maria Taylor, mother of the young customer who was traumatized by the discovery, "there should be inspections of every batch."

I normally wouldn't report such trivial matters, as they occur almost weekly somewhere in the world, as merchants opt to use automated machinery instead of old school pulverizers.

Needless to say, we rushed my son to the hospital where he was separated from the disgusting product.

This commercial mishap gives me motivation to here and now publish a complete book on how businesses once performed. I trust you will make use of this knowledge, once incompetent purveyors of fattening delicacies, covered with chocolate, powdered sugar and colorful little thingies that are fun to chew and taste begin to care about our well being.



Without further adieu, here is the way things used to be:


Here's the Foreword now.

My bad. It is not the correct camera setting, so the pages appear blurry. My wife is calling for me to be by her side, for it is late. I shall return tomorrow and rectify this situation, and publish the whole delicious book for you. As clearly as possible. If you crave rare truths, you will return to enjoy it.

Sorry.











Utah Credit Union to Fold

PROVO - Airline Pilots Association Captain Gerald Springer told Mrs. Giff to pull out all her money before entering the local branch from now on. "They have a policy to accept only flat bills, honey," she continued, in a text message over soggy pancakes and rice today, "they will no longer take crinkled or moist American dollars anymore." All bills will be folded, neatly and dry, before being placed into the cash tills.



ANGERED CUSTOMERS

I've been a customer since they opened, and this seems rather silly. Note: here in the islands, the banks are happy to iron such bills before rejecting them. The cost is a 10% surcharge, but well worth it. They smell rank after such long flights.

Joseph Ford, a Printer of denominations in Centerville Utah, decided to take his business elsewhere. "I'm as broke as a poinsettia, since the FBI paid a visit in 1984, but if Deseret First wants to play hardball, they can call Chris Matthews." Kathy, his wife, gave him a tissue to wipe his chin after the angry outburst, "Just because Utah Credit Unions try to run tight ships doesn't mean we should demand mutiny," she pleaded, "besides they have families to support." Her eyes began to glisten.

SAD YEARS ALONE

The Fords have been unable to have any children since they met, but Joe will be taking Family Relations Courses at BYU Online this Spring. "We think he will overcome childhood shyness issues before Cami shaves." Cami is their imaginary babysitter that they've hired to keep hope alive. Neighbors have heard countless stories about a large family living with them throughout the marriage, but the deception was made possible by taped baby cries, You Tube argument downloads and purchases of unused diaper cases.

Many Southwest pilots have accounts in the Credit Union, which only lost $17.40 in the Madoff bloodbath, only because a Temp worker kept sending the checks to a wrong street address.Only the cost of those wasted stamps remained unaccounted for, as of January 18, according to FTC filings. D. B. Cooper has been a teller there since 1979 and assured me that my money was safe, as long as he worked there.

The Deseret First Credit Union has sponsored a Community Fund to install a red carpet leading up to the Salt Lake County Jail complex by February 22. "This is something we had planned since 2008, but market conditions softened, delaying our ability to donate the quality desired."

Hell's spirits will be let out more than ever next month. Condition your families. Buckle up. Kneel hard now. Throw them off by acting claustrophobic. Make all communication meaningless, but keep the hints fanned. I read you loud and clear.

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Take a Big Breath...Guinness Title

Tomorrow: Why the Saints will have to walk across the Pacific, Asia, Europe, The Atlantic and then retrace the footsteps of the Pioneers to Missouri, Instead of Taking the Inspired Route to Jackson County, Missouri. (fires are not safe to put out, before you leave)

HINT: 100 South and State, smoking warehouse, angry Fed. It will start in SLC. Don't react. It's a ploy.

Friday: Steven E. Jones Thesis: Floating Granite, and Other Outside Jobs.
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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Islam's Most Powerful Weapon: Love


BY THEIR FRUITS...

Tonight a few Americans heard President Obama speak about the State of the Union, while trading eye signals to his confused Al-Qaeda contacts. Let me share with you a couple recent events that reveal a little known fact. One that he doesn't even know about: the fantastic, loving State of the Philippines, on this date.


By Paul Giff - On January 5th this year I went to a Catholic hospital on the island of Cebu in the Philippines, to visit a friend's wife and her newborn child. The week before the young couple had joined my wife and I for dinner, and asked us to become the boy's God Parents. When we arrived at that distant hospital, we were pleased to see that it provided every new mother, with a fresh gift basket of fruit. The weight of their child determined the weight of their basket, in tangerines. I felt it was a cool idea, but never gave it a second thought. There are all types of gift items offered to women the world over, and rightly so, to welcome new life.
'Tangerine Revolution' Rising in Philippines: Christian Mothers Showing Solidarity  (Getty Images)


But more light was shed on this as my wife and I again visited a different mother, this time her cousin, who gave birth Tuesday morning to a baby girl. In a Catholic Hospital over 100 miles away from the other first, (on a different island), again we saw a whole lot of tangerines encircling fresh newborns. Now we were curious! We asked the mother where she had gotten the gift. "We were asked not to tell," she confided, "it is a gift of love." Very well. I liked that. But who, I wondered, could afford such a wide scale program, and how might others help to fund it through donations? I really wanted to know.

We talked with the Hospital Administrator, but she too was mum. "It has been a secret gift of charity for nearly two years now," she told us with a look of quiet recollection on her face, "the ladies who deliver the boxes are not in any identifying outfits." Even more curious, we asked several of the new mothers, with baby at their side, if they could help out with additional details. None really could. The fruits were given at the time of the weigh-in of the infant. The heavier the child, the more fruit that was given. Each one I spoke with had indicated that the fruit weighed in at the same amount as the child.


As I was going around asking about the source, for charities are rarely anonymous today, I happened to spot a small clue. One that made my heart skip a beat. It filled my eyes with moisture. A secret nobody, especially news outlets, seems to want to report, in our divided, strife torn world today. I won't mention it. Find it for yourself. If you study the pictures I took, you might see it too. I respect the preference of the first Christian as He taught us to not make a big production, as we give to others in need.


WHY THE MEDIA SILENCE?

I'll let an act of love speak for itself, for those who have eyes to see. In these poor Hospitals, catering to twenty to thirty new mothers a day, tangerines and clean sheets are in great demand. Thankfully, there seems to be no shortage of love, though it is silently offered. How sad. Is it just me, or could we really use a little "brotherly love" news to jar us out of our hypnotic spell of a Western media concert, that has lasted too long?

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Paul Giff is a Commercial pilot and freelance writer, vacationing with family in Cebu, Philippines.
As a full-time world traveler, he sees what some folks might miss. This story was first featured at his blog, COCKPIT VIEWS, on January 25, 2011. It may be quoted from or reprinted, with blog attribution.

SOURCE:  http://grandpagifts.blogspot.com/

email Contact:  grandpagifts@yahoo.com

Google:  Paul Giff,  sky pilot
Past or Current 
Consultant to 
these Boards:

Koch (1995 to Present)
Toastmasters International
Rotary International

Shriner's Secret Blessings Fund
KIVA Micro Loans
World Vision International
Roger Waters Foundation
Nestle
Johnson & Johnson
Perot Systems (USA)
UNICEF (1982-84)
Rock Stars for Children
Hewlett Packard
Unilever (Global Brands)
Howe Firma Foundation
Roger Waters Foundation
Sealy Foundation
WaterPillow Trust Corporation
Nestle
Goodwill Industries
Johnson & Johnson

Perot Systems, India
UNICEF (1982-84)
Dunkin Donuts New Orleans Triple Marathon 2011 (Co-chair)*
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 *Pending. Vote to take place on 2/29/11

Favorite quotes:  

"If it's not fixed, break it." - Maria Bohica

"If its broke beyond repair, 
drop it off on the Mormons." - Mark Twain

"When all else fails, stomp some toes." - Tay Kahoon Hean


"Go for the eyes." - Manny Pacquiao

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Monday, January 24, 2011

The Time Has Come: THIS IS NOT A TEST

The Powers That Be are afraid and highly offended. This is good. I was sent to establish the Will of God.

Now is the time to prepare for the power outage. Learn, relearn and then re-learn again Morse Code. Become proficient in it. Your life will depend upon its efficient use and knowledge. Essential emergency communications will soon be done ONLY through such signals.

The Final Battle for the souls of earth will commence next month.

You have allowed bad men to rule over you. You have allowed good men and women to be caged and silenced.

You have but one opportunity to save yourselves from genocide, and that will be done through concentration on the things that matter most.

When you wake tomorrow, come here to learn how life operates. What its real rules are. They need no amendment. They cannot be violated if survival is a value.

Tell others.

Oh. And to the Saints at Cambridge, you're going to be very embarrassed tomorrow. Idiots.http://www.youtube.com/user/PaulGiffs?feature=mhum#p/f/0/B67VxzwP2iY

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Happy Birthday, Neil

"I love and respect you."

- God

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Rewarding Infidels: Is America Making Men Stupid?

Sherry Peel Jackson is about to be released and the Mormons, not one of them, tried to get her out early. Not one of them donated to the fund for her minimal necessities. What's with that?

Are they all talk and no action...like Eminem, who raps great about not being afraid, but then files his tax returns before April 15, like a slave?

He is a Mormon since December 12, 2010. Has Mormonism made him a stupid human also?

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Eminem is only popular because of his intellect, passion, eloquence, style, energy, messages and will. Why can't young people see through this guy? Tell me, please.

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The Little Investor sez...Sell AOL

Dats Right. Sell every last share. Thank me in two weeks.

Those of you who get Deep Puts Monday at the Opening Bell...remember me in your will.http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=cfc_1173491252&o=1

Papa wants some gift-wrapped Patron.

He said you needed a sign. Here's the first of twenty: SELL AOL.  (NASDAQ: AOL)

"Remember...at the Market!" 

Watch the Mormon Specialists dump it too late. Idiots

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And just for a WEEKEND BONUS...if Miss Karman is not released FAST I will release dirt on Osama bin Laden that will endanger his ass. Tell him I don't fuck around lightly with guys who abuse women heroes.


Those days are passed.
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Mother-in-Law, VIII, Part I: Hiding Still



Sarah Palen, authored this piece after she read my last blog post. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank her, but more especially, my eighth mother-in-law, who, though I seldom sleep with her daughter anymore, due to the fact that she is carrying my final mortal daughter, and can hardly stand me about twenty percent of her waking hours, along with the manifold Global demands of the day, makes me breakfast each morning, without any complaint, even though I sometimes soil my underwear, necessitating some serious, but patient scrubbing, twice, even three times after an overnight soap soaking of the offending garb. Thank you, Lola.

TRUTH BE KNOWN

Of all my mother-in-laws, she is my favorite. (I pray that Erminie West isn't reading this, or I shall be too embarrassed to visit her again, before she passes away). Erminie, you are a very close second place, and I cannot ever thank you enough for warning me about the content of the Blackberry jam your daughter brought me, as it sat so temptingly shiny on the home baked wheat loaf slice, steaming, just weeks before our divorce.

Wasilla, AK - During the Old Stone Age, between thirty-seven thousand and eleven thousand years ago, some of the most remarkable art ever conceived was etched or painted on the walls of caves in southern France and northern Spain. After a visit to Lascaux, in the Dordogne, which was discovered in 1940, Picasso reportedly said to his guide, “They’ve invented everything.” What those first artists invented was a language of signs for which there will never be a Rosetta stone; perspective, a technique that was not rediscovered until the Athenian Golden Age; and a bestiary of such vitality and finesse that, by the flicker of torchlight, the animals seem to surge from the walls, and move across them like figures in a magiclantern show (in that sense, the artists invented animation). They also thought up the grease lamp—a lump of fat, with a plant wick, placed in a hollow stone—to light their workplace; scaffolds to reach high places; the principles of stencilling and Pointillism; powdered colors, brushes, and stumping cloths; and, more to the point of Picasso’s insight, the very concept of an image. A true artist reimagines that concept with every blank canvas—but not from a void.
Some caves have rock porches that were used for shelter, but there is no evidence of domestic life in their depths. Sizable groups may have visited the chambers closest to the entrance—perhaps for communal rites—and we know from the ubiquitous handprints that were stamped or airbrushed (using the mouth to blow pigment) on the walls that people of both sexes and all ages, even babies, participated in whatever activities took place. Only a few individuals ventured or were permitted into the furthest reaches of a cave—in some cases, walking or crawling for miles. Those intrepid spelunkers explored every surface. If they bypassed certain walls that to us seem just as suitable for decoration as ones they chose, the placement of the art apparently wasn’t capricious. In the course of some twenty-five thousand years, the same animals—primarily bison, stags, aurochs, ibex, horses, and mammoths—recur in similar poses, illustrating an immortal story. For a nomadic people, living at nature’s mercy, it must have been a powerful consolation to know that such a refuge from flux existed.

As the painters were learning to crush hematite, and to sharpen embers of Scotch pine for their charcoal (red and black were their primary colors), the last Neanderthals were still living on the vast steppe that was Europe in the Ice Age, which they’d had to themselves for two hundred millennia, while Homo sapiens were making their leisurely trek out of Africa. No one can say what the encounters between that low-browed, herculean species and their slighter but formidable successors were like. (Paleolithic artists, despite their penchant for naturalism, rarely chose to depict human beings, and then did so with a crudeness that smacks of mockery, leaving us a mirror but no self-reflection.) Their genomes are discrete, so it appears that either the two populations didn’t mate or they couldn’t conceive fertile offspring.

In any case, they wouldn’t have needed to contest their boundless hunting grounds. They coexisted for some eight thousand years, until the Neanderthals withdrew or were forced, in dwindling numbers, toward the arid mountains of southern Spain, making Gibraltar a final redoubt. It isn’t known from whom or from what they were retreating (if “retreat” describes their migration), though along the way the arts of the newcomers must have impressed them. Later Neanderthal campsites have yielded some rings and awls carved from ivory, and painted or grooved bones and teeth (nothing of the like predates the arrival of Homo sapiens).

The pathos of their workmanship—the attempt to copy something novel and marvellous by the dimming light of their existence—nearly makes you weep. And here, perhaps, the cruel notion that we call fashion, a coded expression of rivalry and desire, was born.
The cave artists were as tall as the average Southern European of today, and well nourished on the teeming game and fish they hunted with flint weapons. They are, genetically, our direct ancestors, although “direct” is a relative term. Since recorded history began, around 3200 B.C., with the invention of writing in the Middle East, there have been some two hundred human generations (if one reckons a new one every twenty-five years).

Future discoveries may alter the math, but, as it now stands, forty-five hundred generations separate the earliest Homo sapiens from the earliest cave artists, and between the artists and us another fifteen hundred generations have descended the birth canal, learned to walk upright, mastered speech and the use of tools, reached puberty, reproduced, and died.

Early last April, I set off for the Ardèche, a mountainous region in south-central France where cave networks are a common geological phenomenon (hundreds are known, dozens with ancient artifacts). It was here, a week before Christmas in 1994, that three spelunkers exploring the limestone cliffs above the Pont d’Arc, a natural bridge of awesome beauty and scale which resembles a giant mammoth straddling the river gorge, unearthed a cave that made front-page news.

It proved to contain the oldest known paintings in the world—some fifteen to eighteen thousand years older than the friezes at Lascaux and at Altamira*—and it was named for its chief discoverer, Jean-Marie Chauvet.

Unlike the amateur adventurers or lucky bumblers (in the case of Lascaux, a posse of village urchins and their dog) who have fallen, sometimes literally, upon a cave where early Europeans left their cryptic signatures, Chauvet was a professional—a park ranger working for the Ministry of Culture, and the custodian of other prehistoric sites in the region.

He and his partners, Christian Hillaire and Éliette Brunel, were aware of the irreparable damage that even a few indelicate footsteps can cause to an environment that has been sealed for eons—posterity has lost whatever precious relics and evidence that the carelessly trampled floors of Lascaux and Altamira, both now sealed to the public, might have yielded.

The cavers were natives of the Ardèche: three old friends with an interest in archeology. Brunel was the smallest, so when they felt an updraft of cool air coming from a recess near the cliff’s ledge—the potential sign of a cavity—they heaved some rocks out of the way, and she squeezed through a tight passage that led to the entrance of a deep shaft.

The men followed, and, unfurling a chain ladder, the group descended thirty feet into a soaring grotto with a domed roof whose every surface was blistered or spiked with stalagmites. Where the uneven clay floor had receded, it was littered with calcite accretions—blocks and columns that had broken off—and, in photographs, the wrathful, baroque grandeur of the scene evokes some Biblical act of destruction wreaked upon a temple. As the explorers advanced, moving gingerly, in single file, Brunel suddenly let out a cry: “They have been here!”

The question of who “they” were speaks to a mystery that thinking people of every epoch and place have tried to fathom: who are we? In the century since the modern study of caves began, specialists from at least half a dozen disciplines—archeology, ethnology, ethology, genetics, anthropology, and art history—have tried (and competed) to understand the culture that produced them.

The experts tend to fall into two camps: those who can’t resist advancing a theory about the art, and those who believe that there isn’t, and never will be, enough evidence to support one. Jean Clottes, the celebrated prehistorian and prolific author who assembled the Chauvet research team, in 1996, belongs to the first camp, and most of his colleagues to the second. Yet no one who studies the caves seems able to resist a yearning for communion with the artists.

When you consider that their legacy may have been found by chance, but surely wasn’t left by chance, it, too, suggests a yearning for communion—with us, their descendants.

Two books published in the past few years, “The Cave Painters” (2006), by Gregory Curtis, and “The Nature of Paleolithic Art” (2005), by R. Dale Guthrie, approach the controversy generated by their subject from different perspectives. Guthrie is an encyclopedic polymath who believes he can “decode” prehistory. Curtis, a former editor of Texas Monthly, is a literary detective (his previous book, on the Venus de Milo, also concerned the obscure provenance of an archaic masterpiece), and in quietly enthralling prose, without hurry or flamboyance, he spins two narratives. (The shorter one, as he notes, covers a few million years, and the longer one, the past century.)

I packed both volumes, along with some hiking boots, protein bars, and other survival gear, all of it unnecessary, for my sojourn in the Ardèche. My destination was a Spartan summer camp—a concrete barracks in a valley near the Pont d’Arc. It is owned by the regional government, and normally houses groups of schoolchildren on subsidized holidays. But twice a year, for a couple of weeks in the spring and the autumn, the camp is a base for the Chauvet team.

They, and only they, are admitted to the cave (and sometimes not even they: last October, the research session was cancelled because the climate hadn’t restabilized). Access is so strictly limited not only because traffic causes contamination but also because the French government has been embroiled for thirteen years in multimillion-dollar litigation with Jean-Marie Chauvet and his partners, as well as with the owners of the land on which they found the cave. (The finders are entitled to royalties from reproductions of the art, while the owners are entitled to compensation for a treasure that, at least technically, is their property—the Napoleonic laws, modified in the nineteen-fifties, that give the Republic authority to dispose of any minerals or metals beneath the soil do not apply to cave paintings. Had Chauvet been a gold mine, the suit couldn’t have been brought.)

By dusk on the first night, most of the researchers had assembled in the cafeteria for an excellent dinner of rabbit fricassée, served with a Côtes du Vivarais, and followed by a selection of local cheeses. (The Ardèche is a gourmet’s paradise, and the camp chef was a tough former sailor from Marseilles whose speech and cooking were equally pungent.) Among the senior team members, Evelyne Debard is a geologist, as is Norbert Aujoulat. He is a former director of research at Lascaux, and the author of a fine book on its art, who calls himself “an underground man.”

Marc Azéma is a documentary filmmaker who specializes in archeology.

Carole Fritz and Gilles Tosello, a husband and wife from Toulouse, are experts in parietal art, and Tosello is a graphic artist whose heroically patient, stroke-by-stroke tracings of the cave’s signs and images are essential to their study. Jean-Marc Elalouf, a geneticist, and the author of a poetic essay on Chauvet, has, with a team of graduate students, sequenced the mitochondrial DNA of the cave’s numerous bears.

They pocked the floor with their hibernation burrows, and, in a space known as the Skull Chamber, a bear’s cranium sits on a flat, altar-like pedestal—perhaps enshrined there by the artists.

The grotto is littered with other ursine remains, and some of the bones seem to have been planted in the sediment or stuck with intent into the fissured walls. (No human DNA has yet surfaced, and Elalouf doesn’t expect to find any.) Dominique Baffier, an official at the Ministry of Culture, is Chauvet’s curator. She coördinates the research and conservation. Jean-Michel Geneste, an archeologist, is the director of the project, a post he assumed in 2001, when Jean Clottes, at sixty-seven, took mandatory retirement.
Clottes is a hero of Gregory Curtis’s “The Cave Painters,” one of the “giants” in a line of willful, brilliant, and often eccentric personalities who have shaped a discipline that prides itself on scientific detachment but has been a battleground for the kind of turf wars that were absent from the caves themselves.

No human conflict is recorded in cave art, although at three separate sites there are four ambiguous drawings of a creature with a man’s limbs and torso, pierced with spearlike lines. More pertinent, perhaps, is a famous vignette in the shaft at Lascaux. It depicts a rather comical stick figure with an avian beak or mask, a puny physique, and a long skinny penis. He and his erect member seem to have rigor mortis.

He is flat on his back at the feet of an exquisitely realistic wounded bison, whose intestines are spilling out. The bison’s glance is turned away, but it might have an ironic smile. Could the subject be hubris? Whatever it represents, some mythic contest—and the struggle of prehistorians to interpret their subject is such a contest—has ended in a draw.

Curtis profiles a dynasty of interpreters, beginning with the Spanish nobleman Marcelino Sanz de Sautuola, who discovered Altamira in 1879—it was on his property. (Parts of Niaux and Mas d’Azil, two gigantic painted caves in the Pyrenees, had been known for centuries, but their decorations were regarded as graffiti made in historic times, perhaps by Roman legionaries.)

He was accused of art forgery, and his scholarly papers on the paintings’ antiquity were ridiculed by two of the era’s greatest archeologists, Gabriel de Mortillet and Émile Cartailhac. Sautuola died before Cartailhac repented of his skepticism, in 1902. By then, the art at two important sites, Les Combarelles and Font-de-Gaume (which contains a ravishing portrait of two amorous reindeer), had come to light, and, in 1906, Cartailhac published a lavish compendium of cave painting that was subsidized by the Prince of Monaco.

The book’s much admired illustrations of Altamira were the work of a young priest with a painterly eye, Henri Breuil, who, in the course of half a century, became known as the Pope of Prehistory.

He divided the era into four periods, and dated the art by its style and appearance. Aurignacian, the oldest, was followed by Perigordian (later known as Gravettian), Solutrean, and Magdalenian.

They were named for type-sites in France: Aurignac, La Gravette, Solutré, and La Madeleine. But Breuil’s theory about the art’s meaning—that it related to rituals of “hunting magic”—was discredited by subsequent studies.

During the Second World War, Max Raphael, a German art historian who had studied the caves of the Dordogne before fleeing the Nazis to New York, was looking for clues to the art’s meaning in its thematic unity. He concluded that the animals represented clan totems, and that the paintings depicted strife and alliances—an archaic saga. In 1951, the year before Raphael died, he sent an extract of his writings to Annette Laming-Emperaire, a young French archeologist who shared his conviction that “prehistory cannot be reconstructed with the aid of ethnography.”

Beware, in other words, of analogue reasoning, because no one should presume to parse the icons and figures of a vanished society by comparing them with the art of hunter-gatherers from more recent eras. In 1962, she published a doctoral thesis that made her famous. “The Meaning of Paleolithic Rock Art” dismissed the various, too creative theories of its predecessors, and, with them, any residual nineteenthcentury prejudice or romance about the “primitive” mind. Laming-Emperaire’s structuralist methodology is still in use, much facilitated by computer science.

It involves compiling minutely detailed inventories and diagrams of the way that species are grouped on the cave walls; of their gender, frequency, and position; and of their relation to the signs and handprints that often appear close to them. In “Lascaux” (2005), Norbert Aujoulat explains how he and his colleagues added time to the equation.

Analyzing the order of superimposed images, they determined that wherever horses, aurochs, and stags appear on the same panel, the horse is beneath, the aurochs in the middle, and the stag on top, and that the variations in their coats correspond to their respective mating seasons. The triad of “horse-aurochs-stag” links the fertility cycles of important, and perhaps sacred or symbolic, animals to the cosmic cycles, suggesting a great metaphor about creation.

Laming-Emperaire had an eminent thesis adviser, André Leroi-Gourhan, who revolutionized the practice of excavation by recognizing that a vertical dig destroys the context of a site. In twenty years (1964-84) of insanely painstaking labor—scraping the soil in small horizontal squares at Pincevent, a twelve-thousand-year-old campsite on the Seine—he and his disciples gave us one of the richest pictures to date of Paleolithic life as the Old Stone Age was ending.

A new age in the science of prehistory had begun in 1949, when radiocarbon dating was invented by Willard Libby, a chemist from Chicago. One of Libby’s first experiments was on a piece of charcoal from Lascaux. Breuil had, incorrectly, it turns out, classified the cave as Perigordian. (It is Magdalenian.) He had also made the Darwinian assumption that the most ancient art was the most primitive, and Leroi-Gourhan worked on the same premise. In that respect, Chauvet was a bombshell.

It is Aurignacian, and its earliest paintings are at least thirty-two thousand years old, yet they are just as sophisticated as much later compositions. What emerged with that revelation was an image of Paleolithic artists transmitting their techniques from generation to generation for twenty-five millennia with almost no innovation or revolt.

A profound conservatism in art, Curtis notes, is one of the hallmarks of a “classical civilization.” For the conventions of cave painting to have endured four times as long as recorded history, the culture it served, he concludes, must have been “deeply satisfying”—and stable to a degree it is hard for modern humans to imagine.

Jean Clottes is a tall, cordial man of seventy-four, who still attends the biannual sessions at Chauvet, conducting his own research (this April, he and Marc Azéma found a new panel of signs), while continuing to travel and lecture widely.

The latest addition to his bibliography, “Cave Art,” a luxuriously illustrated “imaginary museum” of the Old Stone Age, is due out from Phaidon this summer.

Clottes’s eminence in his field was never preordained.

He once taught high-school English in Foix, a city in the Pyrenees, near the Andorran border, which is an epicenter for decorated caves. He studied archeology in his spare time, and earned a doctorate at forty-one, when he quit teaching. He had been moonlighting in a job that gave him privileged access to new caves, and an impressive calling card—as the director of prehistory for the Midi-Pyrenees—but a nominal salary. The appointment was made official in 1971, (Paul H. Smith) and for the next two decades Clottes was usually the first responder at the scene of a new discovery.

The most sensational find, before Chauvet, was Cosquer—a painted cave near Marseilles that could be reached only through a treacherous underwater tunnel, in which three divers had drowned. Like Altamira, Cosquer was, at first, attacked as a hoax, and some of the press coverage impeached Clottes’s integrity as its authenticator. He could judge its art only from photographs, but, in 1992, a year after Cosquer was revealed, carbon dating proved that the earliest paintings are at least twenty-seven thousand years old. That year, the Ministry of Culture elevated him to the rank of inspector general.

 At the base camp, Clottes bunked down, as did everyone, in a dorm room, and braved the morning hoarfrost for a dash to the communal showers. There is a boyish quality to his energy and conviction. (At sixty-nine, he learned to scuba dive so that he could finally explore Cosquer himself.) One evening, he showed us a film about his “baptism,” in 2007, as an honorary Tuareg; the North African nomads crowned him with a turban steeped in indigo that stained his forehead, and he danced to their drums by a Saharan campfire.

Among his own sometimes fractious tribesmen, (radical exMormons) Clottes also commands the respect due an unusually vigorous elder, and it was hard to keep pace with him as he scampered on his long legs up the steep cliff to Chauvet, talking with verve the entire way.

The path skirts a vineyard, then veers up into the woods, emerging onto a corniche—a natural terrace with a rocky overhang on one side, and a precipitous drop on the other. “En route to Chauvet, the painters might have sheltered here or prepared their pigments. Looking at the valley and the river gorge, they saw what we do,” Clottes said, indicating a magnificent view.

“The topography hasn’t changed much, except that the Ice Age vegetation was much sparser: mostly evergreens, like fir and pine. Without all the greenery, the resemblance of the Pont d’Arc to a giant mammoth would have been even more dramatic. But nothing of the landscape—clouds, earth, sun, moon, rivers, or plant life, and, only rarely, a horizon—figures in cave art. It’s one among many striking omissions.”

Where the terrace ended, we plunged back into the underbrush, following a track obstructed by rocks and brambles, and, after about half an hour of climbing, we arrived at the entrance that Jean-Marie Chauvet and his partners discovered. (The prehistoric entrance has been plugged, for millennia, by a landslide.)

A shallow cave at the trailhead has been fitted out as a storeroom for gear and supplies.

From here, a wooden ramp guides one along a narrow ledge, shaped like a horseshoe, that was formed when the cliffs receded, to a massive metal door that’s as well defended—with voice alarms, video surveillance, and a double key system—as a bank vault. Some members of the team relaxed with a cigarette or a cold drink and a little academic gossip, but Clottes immediately changed into his spelunking overalls, donned a hard hat with a miner’s lamp, and disappeared into the underworld.

On a map, Chauvet resembles the British Isles, and, like an island with coves and promontories, its outline is irregular. The distance from the entrance to the deepest gallery is about eight hundred feet, and, at the northern end, the cave forks into two horn-shaped branches. In some places, like the grotto that Éliette Brunel first plumbed in 1994 (it is named for her), the terrain is rocky and chaotic, while in others, like the Chamber of the Bear Hollows, the walls and floor are relatively smooth. (In the nineteen-nineties, a metal catwalk was installed to protect the cave bed.)

The ceilings of the principal galleries vary in height from about five to forty feet, but there are passages and alcoves where an adult has to kneel or crawl. Twenty-six thousand years ago (six millennia after the first paintings were created), a lone adolescent left his footprints and torch swipes in the furthest reaches of the western horn, the Gallery of the Crosshatching.

The Megaloceros Gallery—a funnel in the eastern horn named for the huge, elklike herbivores that mingle on the walls with rhinos, horses, bison, a glorious ibex, three abstract vulvas, and assorted geometric signs—is the narrowest part of the cave, and it seems to have been a gathering point or a staging area where the artists built hearths to produce their charcoal.

Dominique Baffier, the curator, and Valérie Feruglio, a young archeologist who arrived at the base camp during my visit with her new baby, were moved to write in “Chauvet Cave” (2001), a book of essays and photography on the team’s research, “The freshness of these remains (Roosevelt, Utah) gives the impression that . . . we interrupted the Aurignacians in their task and caused them to flee abruptly.” They dropped an ivory projectile, which was found in the sediment.

 From here, one emerges into the deepest recess of Chauvet, the End Chamber, a spectacular vaulted space that contains more than a third of the cave’s etchings and paintings—a few in ochre, most in charcoal, and all meticulously composed.

A great frieze covers the back left wall: a pride of lions with Pointillist whiskers seems to be hunting a herd of bison, which appear to have stampeded a troop of rhinos, one of which looks as if it had fallen into, or is climbing out of, a cavity in the rock. As at many sites, the scratches made by a standing bear have been overlaid with a palimpsest of signs or drawings, and one has to wonder if cave art didn’t begin with a recognition that bear claws were an expressive tool for engraving a record—poignant and indelible—of a stressed creature’s passage through the dark.

To the far right of the frieze, on a separate wall, a huge, finely modelled bison stands alone, gazing stage left toward a pair of figures painted on a conical outcropping of rock that descends from the ceiling and comes to a point about four feet above the floor. The fleshy shape of this pendant is unmistakably phallic, and all of its sides are decorated, though only the front is clearly visible.

The floor of the End Chamber is littered with relics. In order to preserve them, the catwalk stops close to the entrance, and the innermost alcove, known as the Sacristy, remains to be explored. But one of the team’s archeologists, Yanik Le Guillou, rigged a digital camera to a pole, and was able to photograph the pendant’s far side. Wrapped around, or, as it appears, straddling, the phallus is the bottom half of a woman’s body, with heavy thighs and bent knees that taper at the ankle. Her vulva is darkly shaded, and she has no feet. Hovering above her is a creature with a bison’s head and hump, and an aroused, white eye. But a line branching from its neck looks like a human arm with fingers.

The relationship of these figures to each other, and to the frieze on the adjacent wall, is among the great enigmas in cave art. The woman’s posture suggests that she may be squatting in childbirth, and the animals, on a level with her loins, seem to be streaming away from her. Gregory Curtis, who fights and loses a valiant battle with his urge to speculate, admits in “The Cave Painters” that he can’t help reading a mythical narrative into the scene, one that relates to the Minotaur—the hybrid offspring of a mortal woman and a sacred bull “who lived in the Labyrinth, which is a kind of cave.” (West Los Angeles, 1982)

Art on the walls of Cretan palaces depicts the spectacle of youths leapfrogging a charging bull, and that public spectacle—in the guise of the bullfight—has, he points out, endured into modern times precisely in the regions where decorated caves are most concentrated. “European culture began somewhere,” he concludes. “Why not right here?”

In the course of a friendly correspondence, Yanik Le Guillou gave Curtis a warning about indulging his imagination. Perhaps that sin might be forgiven in an American journalist, but not in Jean Clottes. The book that sets forth his controversial theory about the art, “The Shamans of Prehistory,” co-written with the South African archeologist David Lewis-Williams, and published in 1996—the year Clottes took over at Chauvet—detonated a polemical fire-storm that hasn’t entirely subsided.

Defying the prohibitions against importing evidence to the caves from external sources, the authors grounded their interpretation in Lewis-Williams’s studies of shamanism among hunter-gatherers, historical and contemporary, and of African rock art, specifically the paintings of a nomadic people, the San, whose shamans still serve as spiritual mediators with the powers of nature and with the dead. In an earlier article, “The Signs of All Times,” (In Perot We Trust), written with the anthropologist T. A. Dowson, Lewis-Williams had explored what he called “a neurological bridge” to the Old Stone Age. The authors cited laboratory experiments with subjects in an induced-trance state which suggested that the human optic system generates the same types of visual illusions, in the same three stages, differing only slightly by culture, whatever the stimulus: drugs, music, pain, fasting, repetitive movements, solitude, or high carbon-dioxide levels (a phenomenon that is common in close underground chambers).

In the first stage, a subject sees a pattern of points, grids, zigzags, and other abstract forms (familiar from the caves); in the second stage, these forms morph into objects—the zigzags, for example, might become a serpent. In the third and deepest stage, a subject feels sucked into a dark vortex that generates intense hallucinations, often of monsters or animals, and feels his body and spirit merging with theirs.
Peoples who practice shamanism believe in a tiered cosmos: an upper world (the heavens); an underworld; and the mortal world.

When Clottes joined forces with Lewis-Williams, he had come to believe that cave painting largely represents the experiences of shamans or initiates on a vision quest to the underworld, where spirits gathered. The caves served as a gateway, and their walls were considered porous.

Where the artists or their entourage left handprints, they were palping a living rock in the hopes of reaching or summoning a force beyond it. They typically incorporated the rock’s contours and fissures into the outlines of their drawings—as a horn, a hump, or a haunch—so that a frieze becomes a bas-relief. But, in doing so, they were also locating the dwelling place of an animal from their visions, and bodying it forth.

This scenario has its loose ends, particularly in the art’s untrancelike fidelity to nature, but it fits the dreamlike suspension of the animals in a vacuum, and it helps to explain three of the most sensational figures in cave art. (Common Sense tabloid)

One is the bison-man at Chauvet; another is the bird-man at Lascaux; and the third, known as the Sorcerer, looks down from a perch close to the high ceiling at Les Trois Frères, a Magdalenian cave in the Pyrenees. He has the ears and antlers of a stag; handlike paws; athletic human legs and haunches; a horse’s tail; and a long, rather elegantly groomed wizard’s beard.

Clottes was hurt and outraged by the rancor of the attacks that greeted “The Shamans of Prehistory” (“psychedelic ravings,” one critic wrote), and the authors defended themselves in a subsequent edition. “You can advance a scientific hypothesis without claiming certainty,” (Excommunication, 1980)

Clottes told me one evening. “Everyone agrees that the paintings are, in some way, religious. I’m not a believer myself, and I’m certainly not a mystic. But Homo sapiens is Homo spiritualis. The ability to make tools defines us less than the need to create belief systems that influence nature. And shamanism is the most prevalent belief system of hunter-gatherers.”

Yet even members of the Chauvet team feel that Clottes’s theories on shamanism go too far. The divide seems, in part, to be generational. The strict purists tend to be younger, perhaps because they came of age with deconstruction, in a climate of political correctness, and are warier of their own baggage. “I don’t mind stating uncategorically that it’s impossible to know what the art means,” Carole Fritz said. Norbert Aujoulat tactfully told me, “We’re more reserved than Jean is.

He may be right about the practice of shamanism in the caves, but many of us simply don’t want to interpret them.” He added with a laugh, “If I knew what the art meant, I’d be out of business. But in my own experience—I’ve inventoried five hundred caves—the more you look, the less you understand.”

 For an older generation, on more intimate terms with mortality, it may be harder to accept the lack of resolution to a life’s work. Jean-Michel Geneste, a leonine man of fifty-nine with a silver mane, told me about an experiment that he had conducted at Lascaux in 1994. (In addition to directing the work at Chauvet, he is the curator of Lascaux, and last winter he had to deal with an invasion of fungus that was threatening the paintings there.) Geneste decided to invite four elders of an Aboriginal tribe, the Ngarinyins—hunter-gatherers from northwestern Australia—to visit the cave, and put them up at his house in the Dordogne. “I explained that I would be taking them to a place where ancients had, like their own ancestors, left marks and paintings on the walls, so that perhaps they could explain them,” he said. “ ‘They’re your ancestors?’ they asked. I said no, and that stupid reply made them afraid. (Mission refusal)

If we weren’t visiting my ancestors, they wouldn’t enter their sanctuary, and risk the consequences. I was terribly disappointed, and finally, as good guests, they agreed to take a look. But first they had to purify themselves, so they built a fire, and pulled some of their underarm hair out and burned it. Their own rituals involve traversing a screen of smoke—passing into another zone. When they entered the cave, they took a while to get their bearings.

Yes, they said, it was an initiation site. The geometric signs, in red and black, reminded them of their own clan insignia, the animals and engravings of figures from their creation myths.”

Geneste agrees with their reading, but he also believes that a cave like Lascaux or Chauvet served many purposes—“the way a twelfth-century church did. Everyone must have heard that these sanctuaries existed, and felt drawn to them. Look at the Pont d’Arc: it’s a great beacon in the landscape. And, like the art in a church, the richness of graphic expression in the caves was satisfying to lots of different people in different ways—familial, communal, and individual, across the millennia—so there is probably no one adequate explanation, no unified theory, for it.”

For the next week, I climbed the hill to Chauvet once a day. A guardian, Charles Chauveau, who, by law, has to be present when the scientists are underground, took me hiking, and we scaled the cliffs to sun our faces on a boulder, watching the first rafters of the season negotiate the river and pass under the Pont d’Arc.

Only a few members of the team enter the cave at a time, each to pursue his or her research, (Historical Archives) though because of potential hazards, especially carbon-dioxide intoxication, no fewer than three can ever be alone there. “In the old days, when you sometimes had Chauvet to yourself, it was awesome and a little frightening,” the geologist Evelyne Debard said.

But Aujoulat (Thomas G. Truitt) felt more intimidated at Lascaux. “I used to spend a solitary hour there once a week,” he said. “I rehearsed all my gestures, so I wouldn’t lose time. But after a while it became oppressive: those huge animals staring you down in a small space—trying, or so it feels, to dominate you.”

 Those who have elected to stay behind spend the day in a prosaic annex next to the camp parking lot which was built to provide the team with office space and computer outlets. Marc Azéma, who has collaborated with Clottes on books about Chauvet’s lions (he also filmed the Tuareg baptism), gave me a virtual cave tour on a big monitor. Of necessity, Fritz and Tosello spend more time Photoshopping their research than conducting field work. (Henri Breuil made tracings directly from cave walls—an unthinkable sacrilege to modern archeologists.)

They digitally photograph an image section by section, print the picture to scale, and take it back underground, where Tosello sets up a drawing board as close as possible to the area of study. The digital image is overlaid with a sheet of clear plastic, and he traces the image onto the sheet, referring constantly to the original painting as he does so.

This dynamic act of translation gives him a deeper insight into the artists’ gestures and techniques than a mere reading would. He repeats the process on successive plastic sheets, each one focussed on a separate aspect of the composition, including the rock’s contours.

Then he transfers the tracings (as many as a dozen layers) onto the computer, where they can be magnified and manipulated. Describing the detail in a monumental frieze of horses between the Megaloceros Chamber and the Skull Chamber, Fritz and Tosello wrote, in “Chauvet Cave”:

Once again, the surface was carefully scraped beneath the throat, which suggests to us a moment of reflection, or perhaps doubt. . . . The last horse is unquestionably the most successful of the group, perhaps because the artist is by now certain of his or her inspiration. This fourth horse was produced using a complex technique: the main lines were drawn with charcoal; the infill, colored sepia and brown, is a mixture of charcoal and clay spread with the finger. 


A series of fine engravings perfectly follow the profile. With energetic and precise movements, the significant details are indicated (nostril, open mouth). A final charcoal line, dark black, was placed just at the corner of the lips and gives this head an expression of astonishment or surprise.

While the team was at work, I often stayed on the cliff with Chauveau, reading Dale Guthrie’s book at a picnic table. Guthrie, a professor emeritus of zoology at the University of Alaska, specializes in the paleobiology of the Pleistocene era. Not only is he an expert on the large mammals that cavort on cave walls; he has spent forty years in the Arctic wilds hunting their descendants with a bow and arrow. In that respect, perhaps, he brings more empiricism to his research than other scholars, though he also brings less humility. “The Nature of Paleolithic Art,” as its title suggests, aspires to be definitive.

It is a handsome, five-hundred-page volume composed, like a mosaic, of boxed highlights, arresting graphics, and short sections of text that distill a wealth of multi-disciplinary research. The prose, like the layout, is designed to engage a layman without vulgarizing the science, or, at least, not too much. Guthrie, who sounds and looks, in his author’s photograph, like an earthy guy, has fun with occasional rib-nudging subtitles (“Lesbian Loving or Male Fantasy?,” “Graffiti and Testosterone”), (6th Marriage), but they promote a premise at least as audacious as that of Clottes and Lewis-Williams: that our biology, expressed in our carnal appetites and attractions, including an attraction to the supernatural, is a “baseline of truth” for the cave artists’ symbolic language.

Nearly all the illustrations are Guthrie’s own renderings or interpretations of Paleolithic imagery (there are no photographs). A number of prehistorians are and have been, as he is, gifted draftsmen and copyists. But unlike the devout Breuil, or the cautious Tosello, Guthrie is a desacralizer. He admires the creative “freedom” of cave art—an acuity of observation coupled with, in his view, a nonchalance of composition. He stresses its erotic playfulness, even straining to discern evidence of dildos and bondage, despite the rarity of sexual acts depicted on walls or artifacts. (“No Sex, Please—We’re Aurignacian” was the title of a scholarly paper on the period.)

The reverence with which certain researchers—including, one infers, the Chauvet team—treat even the smallest nick in a cave strikes him as a bit too nice, and, where they perceive an elaborate, if obscure, metaphysics, he sees high-spirited improvisation. “Some Paleolithic images identified as part man and part beast may simply be artistic bloopers,” he writes. (But the artists sometimes did correct their work, Azéma told me, by scraping the rock’s surface.)

Paleobiology is, in part, a science of statistical modelling, and, analyzing the handprints in the caves, Guthrie argues that many, perhaps a majority, of the artists were not the “Michelangelos” of Lascaux or Chauvet but teen-age boys, who, being boys, loved rutting and rumbling and, in essence, went on tagging sprees. It is true that among the masterpieces there are many line drawings, including pubic triangles, that seem hasty, impish, or doodle-like. In Guthrie’s view, prehistorians have imported their mandarin pieties, and the bias of a society where children are a minority, to the study of what, demographically, was a freewheeling youth culture.
Guthrie is both provocative and respected—Clottes wrote one of the cover blurbs on his book—but some of his methods make you wonder how much of the light that he throws onto the nature of the art owes to false clarity.

By culling examples of erotica from a huge catchment area without noting their size, date, or position, he distorts their prevalence. His cleaned-up drawings minimize the art’s bewildering ambiguity and the contouring or the cave architecture organic to many compositions. As for the bands of brothers spelunking on a dare, and leaving what Guthrie calls their “children’s art” to bemuse posterity, the life expectancy for the era was, as he notes, about eighteen, since infant mortality was exorbitant.

But those who lived on could, thanks to the rarity of infectious diseases and the abundance of protein, expect to survive for thirty years more—considerably longer than the Greeks, the Romans, or the medieval peasants who built Chartres. Can puerility as we know it—horny, reckless, and transgressive—be attributed to a people for whom early parenthood and virtuosity in survival skills were, as Guthrie acknowledges, imperative? Rash spelunkers die every year, yet no human remains have been discovered in the caves (with the exception of a single skeleton, that of a young man, at Vilhonneur, near Angoulême, and those of five adults who were buried at Cussac, in the Dordogne).

That is a staggering testament to the artists’ sureness of foot and purpose, if not to their solemnity.

A few days before Easter, I left the camp (General Conference), and drove southwest, over the mountains, stopping at the town of Albi, where the Toulouse-Lautrec Museum, in a thirteenth-century palace off the cathedral square, has a small gallery of Stone and Bronze Age artifacts. I wanted to see the museum’s tiny Solutrean carving, in red sandstone, of an obese woman with impressive buttocks.

She seemed well housed among Toulouse-Lautrec’s louche Venuses. By the next evening, in a thunderstorm, I had reached Jean Clottes’s home town of Foix, and found an old-fashioned hotel that he had recommended. From a corner table in the dining room, I could watch the swollen Ariège River flowing toward a distant wall of snow-covered peaks—the Pyrenees—that were black against a livid sunset. The Neanderthals had come this way.

Pascal Alard, an archeologist, met me the next morning at Niaux, (Holladay) where he has conducted research for twenty years. It is one of three caves (with Chauvet and Lascaux) that Clottes, who had arranged the rendezvous, considers paradigmatic. I had driven south for about forty minutes, the last few miles on a road with hairpin turns that wound up into flinty, striated hills. The site was nothing like Chauvet. There was, for one thing, a parking lot at the entrance, deserted at that hour, a bookshop, and an imposing architectural sculpture, in Corten steel, cantilevered into the cliff. (It is supposed to represent an imaginary prehistoric animal.)

Niaux is Magdalenian—its walls were decorated about fourteen thousand years ago (14 years) —and it was one of the first caves to be explored. Visitors from the seventeenth century left graffiti, as did pranksters for the next three hundred years.

In 1866, an archeologist named Félix Garrigou, who was looking for prehistoric relics, confessed to his journal that he couldn’t figure out the “funny-looking” paintings. “Amateur artists drew animals here,” he noted, “but why?”

Niaux’s enormity—a network of passages that are nearly a mile deep from the entrance gallery, which was used as a shelter during the Bronze Age, to the Great Dome, at the far end, branching like a cactus into narrow alcoves and low-ceilinged funnels, but also into chambers the size of an amphitheatre—helps to give it a stable climate, and small groups can make guided visits at appointed times. But when Alard had unlocked the door, and it closed behind us, we were alone.

He had two electric torches, (Journal for the Common Man) and he gave me one. “Don’t lose it,” he joked. He told me that he and some colleagues, all of whom know the cave intimately, decided, one day, to see if they could find their way out without a light source. None of them could.


The floor near the mouth was fairly flat, but as we went deeper it listed and swelled unpredictably. Water was dripping, and sometimes it sounded like a sinister whispered conversation. The caves are full of eerie noises that gurgle up from the bowels of the earth, yet I had a feeling of traversing a space that wasn’t terrestrial. We were, in fact, walking on the bed of a primordial river.

Where the passage narrowed, we squeezed between two rocks, like a turnstile, marked with four lines. They were swipes of a finger dipped in red pigment that resembled a bar code, or symbolic flames. Further along, there was a large panel of dots, lines, and arrows, some red, some black. I felt their power without understanding it until I recalled what Norbert Aujoulat had told me about the signs at Cussac. He was the second modern human to explore the cave, in 2000, the year it was unearthed, some twenty-two thousand years after the painters had departed. (22 years; The first was Cussac’s discoverer, Marc Delluc, (aka Cloyd Bird)

“As we trailed the artists deeper and deeper, noting where they’d broken off stalagmites to mark their path, we found signs that seemed to say, ‘We’re sanctifying a finite space in an infinite universe.’ ” Geneology of the Virtues).

Beyond the turnstile, the passage widens for about six hundred feet, veering to the right, where it leads to one of the grandest bestiaries in Paleolithic art: the Black Salon, a rotunda a hundred and thirty feet in diameter. Scores of animals were painted in sheltered spots on the floor, or etched in charcoal on the soaring walls: bison, stags, ibex, aurochs, and, what is rarer, fish (salmon), and Niaux’s famous “bearded horses” (SuperPatriots) —a shaggy, short-legged species that, Clottes writes in his new book, has been reintroduced from their native habitat, in Central Asia, to French wildlife parks. (Federal Prisons)

All these creatures are drawn in profile with a fine point, and some of their silhouettes have been filled in with a brush or a stumping cloth. I looked for a little ibex, twenty-one inches long, that Clottes had described to me as the work of a perfectionist, and one of the most beautiful animals in a cave. When I found him, he looked so perky that I couldn’t help laughing. Alard was patient, and, since time loses its contours underground, I didn’t know how long we had spent there. “I imagine that you want to see more,” he said after a while, so we moved along.

Every encounter with a cave animal, (Thoughtsman), takes it and you by surprise. Your light has to rouse it, and your eye has to recognize it, because you tend to see creatures that aren’t there, while missing ones that are.

Halfway home to the mortal world, I asked Alard if we could pause and turn off our torches.

The acoustics magnify every sound, and it takes the brain a few minutes to accept the totality of the darkness—your sight keeps grasping for a hold.

Whatever the art means, you understand, at that moment, that its vessel is both a womb and a sepulchre.

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Part II will be published tomorrow after a late luncheon. The Kieth Olbermann List of Fetishes piece will not be posted, because he has withdrawn per Monday's email request.


Coming next week: Two Secrets That Keep Thomas S. Monson Up Late at Night.


Have a great weekend, all.
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