Batman has left the Cave

"Tangerines? I raise you 40 Motorcycles. Hit Me."   - High Stakes Poker

Three times in the past month newborns have been lured into our hearts by a citrus warfare. Today, American Surgeons have stepped up to the plate and said enough is enough. "We have to locate and stop this information at the source!" somebody screamed.

The team has brought with them two jet loads of tangerines and 40 brand spanking new motorcycles, if the parents will pledge in writing not to convert to Islam for at least 36-months. Injecting bovine crap into experimental patients didn't end with Hitler. But so long as attractive politicians and fake Doctors with real-looking "old) websites is all we need to trust what is placed into the newborn blood systems, what the hey, right? USDA is involved, so it must be legit. My bad.

"We saw the article in Barrons and couldn't hold still long enough to operate, we were shaking so bad, " said Dr. Raphael Bohica from Long Beach, California, "we all agreed that we had to do something."

ASPA Members laid aside scalpels and flew into a rage, then to Manila where they purchased the bikes from a delighted dealer, then on to Tacloban. From there, they traversed the island to Ormoc City and will present the bikes to new fathers during the Conference to Save Our Newborns From Islamic Bribery.

The first Global responders, all surgeons from the United States, presented newborns with tangerines, doubling the gifts already received earlier in the day from anonymous Islamic donors. "We will not let the Muslims win the hearts of mankind using a Christian weapon. We invented love, we control it, we've improved upon it and we are the only religion that can rightfully exploit it for ulterior motives," an unnamed red-faced Doctor fumed in one long breath, spraying the microphone of the reporter with liquid indignation.

The Ormoc Chamber of Commerce has asked the City Council to dredge the bay so that larger naval going vessels can dock, in case the war escalates to automobiles or possibly new homes.

 The Revolution has made new parents thrilled to be pregnant, and not just for getting a new child anymore.

There is a downside to the escalation of charitable hostilities. The price of tangerines has quadrupled in the Visayas, forcing many vendors to hire armed guards to protect the increasingly popular fruit.

Representative Lucy Torres Gomes will be holding negotiations during the week in hopes to keep the militant gift-giving in check. "This could easily spiral out of control if either the Mormons or the Jehovah's Witnesses get wind of the crowds. We've already detected some Scientology interest in online chatter," she added, we simply must contain it while we can. Love is just too powerful to be used as a weapon around innocent babies."

President Obama has sent Vice President Joe Biden to look in control of the Philippine Tangerine Revolution, just in case he is further embarrassed next week by his own total impotence in the lovely Egyptian turmoil.

The White House did not return calls for this story. Or for Tunisia.

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Tomorrow: How I identified our invisible enemies.

Monday: How they operate to ensnare us.


Pssst. I will be in disguise watching them & taping their meetings, and I will post it to you here. Unless caught. Or they cancel the meet.


Tell no one:


See this "missing moon rock search ?


It was posted 45 minutes after I posted the blog splash on the scam surgeon meet.
I am the missing moon rock. They have no idea I have deciphered their codes, and that they are naked to me.


Thank God.
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