That's right. I have blogged under the name Paul Giff (a Southwest Pilot), since the first week of January.
I killed him at the Credit Union in Holladay. Took his body, wallet, car and two grand-children. But a funny thing happened on the way to his Ward Sunday. I was going to spray graffiti in both restrooms, but I was treated with so much love, I decided to take the Missionary lessons. I have made many friends there. There's this one chick who would make a great anything, forever. Now I feel to confess this to you all:
HE WAS QUITE A DUDE
In "Brother Giff's" email box this morning were sixteen long pages of notes and letters from all over the world. 411 messages, to be exact. One of them was from Eminem, the rapper. He told Mr. Giff that he was gonna turn the tide on the IRS. He was sick of the BOHICA Position every April 15, and wanted to try something from the past.
OTHER LETTERS
One of them was from the Queen of England's Executive Secretary of Global Security, requesting that I meet with her privately, as soon as possible. Who the fuck was this Giff guy I hit? He had a Commercial and Military Pilot's Licence, a bunch of family pictures and his house is so full of food and water, I think he had mental issues. Reading his personal Journal, I learned he actually thought America was about to be wasted. "Genocide" as he called it. Shit. He was out of his mind. He kept ALL of his gold in the pocket watch his Father passed down to him.
KILLER MIGRAINE
There is no way I can handle this volume of mail. I never made it past Junior High. Nor am I able to properly handle all of the urgent demands to hold Life Saving Conferences he attended. He was an Eagle Scout and old Navy man. His Little Black Book had some Texas addresses in code. One of them was Ross Perot's. Jesus! This social pressure, faking like I'm him...has increased exponentially since the first hour I began blogging here. I am simply unable and unwilling to give up my iPod time to make the world a better place.
I'm no Mr. Giff.
Here is an auto-post he had made, about an hour before I stabbed him. He resisted. It was self-defense.
I don't want more than murder on my record. Besides, he was suicidal. Living alone. Afraid.
Here it is:
YOUR DUTY TO LITTLE ONES
by Paul Giff
So that I can sleep tonight, I will submit this final warning to you all. It is not a joke. I do it somberly, and knowing that if I fail in my mission to motivate you to act RIGHT NOW for your families, you will die, every one of you, very soon.
I am going to the bank right now. Upon my return, I'll release this. You people will know what to do with it. I've given up. I'm going to take my life tonight. Even though I was a hardened fighter, that was many years ago. Today, in my old age, I just can't stomach countrywide suffering like I used to.
WHO I AM
I've been a public speaker since I was 8 years of age. The lowest fee I ever spoke for was $800. The highest remuneration was for a speech I delivered to the Hewlett Packard Board of Directors just last night. I was paid $4.7 million dollars for that 22-minute presentation. Also, I was granted 48 hours of their elegant facilities, including the posh Company Lear Jet, their Golden Rolls Shadow, and any accouterments I chose.
ROOM SERVICE
I called the Radisson's Concierge after the flight and asked for water. "How much, Sir?"
"Enough for six months."
"May I inquire as to the reason, Mr. Giff?"
"Certainly. It is because the electricity may go out today, and not come back on. I wish to be secure and to be able to maintain my health, should that event happen during my stay."
OUR HOME POLICY
We have a policy in our home to keep enough pure water on the dining table, at all times, for six months of survival. We instituted it right after the party with my Godson, Peter Schiff and his wife Anne. The conversation we shared was a Rabbit Hole of personal prophecy.
Peter and Anne also have resolved to quietly keep a six month supply on their dining room table.
We do this to encourage conversation among the wise to begin in earnest to take care of the single most vital element of preparedness right now. Our consensus of the date that the power will go out in America is around July 7, 2011.
By then the price increases and ATM lines will be such, made even more messy by the televised robberies, bank heists and company embezzlements (due to the exploding hyperinflation) that Americans will drop what they are doing and join the Community fist fights at the local Walmart parking lots.
So there you have it. I have told you why all Executives at Hewlett Packard will begin Public Service announcements urging an orderly setting aside of water, food and durable clothing and shoes. It is a Company that has always cared. Not only about its fine employees, but about Americans like me and you.
No amount of free media air time will buy such irresponsible silence. I am not in this for fame or honor. I make no money for my advice to the common man. I just want you to know, we are in grave danger. Look at your wife. She will be screaming soon. Look at your children. They will be neglected soon.
IT'S TIME TO PANIC
If you fail to sense the chaos about to occur, after all the PS A's, and weekly guidance from your religious, educational and business leaders, then you are toast. We are all doing our part to make the transition from poverty to fear and from desperation to starvation as gradual as possible. President Obama saw this train wreck coming, long before he ran for President. It's the reason he has turned on the presses full time since taking the Oath of Office. He cares about you enough to pull the fire alarm.
He confided to me last week, that he would personally shut down the Internet when 30% of Urban America was charred, to save the remainder of the country from further conflagration losses. He is a courageous and brilliant hero. I believe, the finest man on earth today. Not me. I may be interesting, but Mr. Obama deserves the kudos today, from a deeply grateful nation. He will win the Nobel Prize again this year. I was told this in Copenhagen last month.You need not pray for him. He is more aware of the will of God than any other man.
IT IS FINISHED
So there you have it, America. Store water as quickly as you possibly can. Stock up on food and necessities without delay, after the water has been secured. WalMart has informed me that they will be open 24/7 for the entire duration of this run.
I have done all I can to alert you. Now it is your turn to be rational. By so doing, you will be safe.
Courage. Good night. I love you, so much.
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PS - America will be saved with Love and Intelligent actions. No matter how many prayers God may hear later this year: America will be saved by Love and Intelligent actions.
Inform those you'd would like to bless. Tonight. Now!
Carry a message to them for me, for you, and for every good American.
I'm ending my life by my own hand tonight. I did my best, and it wasn't enough.
I'll go join my buddies in Hell. At least if they'll have me.
Divide the stuff among the kids. I'm sorry.
So much for a Legacy, huh?
a tired & defeated friend,
Paul Giff, USN Retired
aka: Grandpa Gifts
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FIRE ESCAPE
If you notice this blog is not going viral, then print out this poem, and read it over and over, as our nation descends into Hell.
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from an atheistic conviction."
- Maria Bohica
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Tomorrow: The email Mr.Giff received from Eminem. He is an amazing individual.
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