Church News - Lesbian she wolf and three-time-wife of Paul Giff brought her favorite tree to Temple Square Friday afternoon, sneaking past Church Security using her natural prop. "The Brethren saw it coming, but the guards were eating donuts and texting Farmville cheats," an anonymous source told Church News Editor Mark Hoffman.
When Paulette Giff threatened to topple the massive Norfolk Pine onto the Tabernacle, the Council of the Twelve received word from God that He would not replace the historic edifice.
"We had to capitulate. Too many eyes were watching," said Ted Gubler, green-masked spokesman for Zion, "You can fool all of the Saints all of the time, but when push comes to shove, we actually believe some of this crap. Our videos cost over $110 to create, on average."
Paulette will be seated if the voting machines aren't tampered with. She will be the first loud mouthed Lesbian into the fold.
Socialists the world over were delighted with the cave-in. The Church hasn't compromised since July 2009, and this surrender shows that it is strong and healthy when it comes to waiting in plush offices for second opinions.
Thank God for viral blogs.
